This article is aimed at people who have cheated on their partners, to help them to rebuild a solid base of trust.
There are few things that can cause more pain than the betrayal of an affair. And while many people will say that an affair should be the end of any relationship, this might not always apply. A relationship can be saved, even after an affair, as long as both partners sincerely want to work at the relationship, and rebuild trust.
But, with the pain involved, it can be difficult to start that journey, towards a more healthy relationship. So, where do you start? Read on, and consider carefully, how you can rebuild the trust in your relationship.
Finding The Root Cause
If you have cheated on your partner, your attitude has allowed you to stray away from the relationship. Somewhere, something has gone wrong, which has poisoned the relationship, at its core. So, the first thing you need to do is find the antidote to this poisoning.
People don’t have affairs if their relationships are going well, so you need to find out what’s gone wrong. Maybe there’s a lack of intimacy, or a distance between you and your partner, caused by career or childcare commitments. You have to work out why you felt the need to find someone else.
In any case, no progress can be made until the underlying problems are identified. If this is difficult, in and of itself, you may need to undergo couple’s counseling, which will give you both an opportunity to air concerns, emotions and grievances, with an aim to positively rectify the problems.
Take Action To Resolve The Problems
Once you have identified what went wrong, to allow cheating to take place, the real journey of repairing the relationship can begin.
Talking will allow you to identify the problems, but resolving the issues takes actions. In other words, you need to do the right thing, not just talk about it.
When it comes to rebuilding trust, one of the most positive things you can do is to makes small promises and keep them. Demonstrate, in everything that you do, how you can now be trusted. It’s going to take time to rebuild confidence, but persistence should be expected but rewarded.
Your partner will need to be reassured that you have changed, in order to rebuild the trust. You’ll need to apologize, probably more than one, though it won’t help to keep apologizing constantly, as that’ll remind your partner of the breach of trust.
You should take any comments about the affair in your stride; remember that your partner has the right to be upset about the breach. If you work hard, over time, this should subside, as you rebuild trust.
This is an opportunity for you both to work on the relationship. With the right approach you could continue to develop and mature the relationship, with the experience of overcoming a relationship obstacle.
It may take time to get there, but you may find that with a mutual commitment to moving forward, the relationship could become even stronger. Just be patient and respect your partner’s feelings while it takes the time to get there.