Is your relationship failing, or has it already fallen apart. If you want to save the relationship there are some things you will need to consider. Read on and get started on saving your relationship today.
1. Decide If it’s Worth Saving
You’ll both need to decide this if the relationship is going to work. If one partner is absolutely convinced that the relationship is fated to end, it’s going to be almost impossible to turn that around.
The good news, in amongst the sadness, is that many people are uncertain of their feelings, at the end of a relationship, so even if they feel like the relationship’s over they won’t be totally certain. Sometimes, people will imagine the worst, because their sadness makes this easier to cope with.
2. Pinpoint the Problems
Identifying the problem that caused the break up can be hard. Let’s say, there’s an argument and that causes emotions to boil over. This may feel like the trigger for the break up but it’s often far more complicated than that, with emotions simmering away for a long time before that.
While affairs are often blamed for break ups they need to be viewed for what they are. The partner who’s been cheated on is right to feel hurt and betrayed but needs to understand that the affair is often a symptom of an underlying problem. Lack of intimacy, for example, can drive someone to an affair, and while it doesn’t excuse the behavior, it will help to understand it.
In any case, you need to identify the true core issue if you want to save the relationship, rather than dealing with surface issues and allowing the true issues to fester.
3. Share Your Thoughts
Good communication is key to any healthy relationship, so you need to be able to really talk to each other, and both partners need to be able to listen.
Sometimes, difficult topics need to be covered. If your partner brings up a painful issue, it can be hard to deal with. But remember, they’re not doing this to hurt you; they’re doing this to get things into the open, so that you can move forward.
It’s likely that both of you will have powerful, emotional reactions to various subjects that need to be discussed. So, try to stay calm and composed, even if your emotions are wobbling under the weight of the situation.
4. Make A Plan
Detail the steps you are both prepared to take, in order to make the relationship work. It’s important that you both contribute to this plan, in order to make it work.
Whatever the relationship’s needs are, there’s a solution available. If you need to spend more time together, find a suitable time and commit to it. If the two of you are not talking enough, then make time to do so. It doesn’t have to be too rigid, but it should demonstrate that you are both prepared to work on the ongoing health of the relationship.
Remember that any solutions you put in place are only as good as your commitment to each other, so you can use this to help demonstrate your flexibility, empathy and love for each other. It shouldn’t be something to argue over!
And Remember…
No matter what you’re going through there’s somewhere where you can turn. There’s always support out there for people who are prepared to take responsibility for creating a healthy relationship. If the two of you are committed to making it work, there is always hope and a real chance at a future.
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Wed, Jun 23, 2010
Break Up Advice